Rudd breaks eggs, still no omelette

Dan Wood / June 13, 2013 04:00 PM

Oh, look! It’s that debate again. It is at once risible and dejecting to see the contest over Australia's highest elected public office devolve into a total cliché. 

And is Rudd simply breaking eggs for an omelette he'll never make? He has before.Humpty

Again we return to this on-again-off-again game of musical, government-issue chairs. It is a game beset by clandestine deal making that strains allegiances and can dash relationships (and status portfolios) in a heartbeat.

It’s the national political iteration of the Closer dynamic, but with some important qualifications: the Prime Ministership and the confidence of the caucus are anthropomorphised to Jude Law; Gillard is Julia Roberts; Rudd is Natalie Portman; and Clive Owen’s character simply doesn’t exist. So basically we’re one lover short of a very volatile–and yet technically authentic—double date. This propels Gillard/Roberts and Rudd/Portman into a recurrent wrangle, wherein the pair vies for the affection of but one fickle “beau”.

Confused? Me too. But I'm not the only one trying to make sense of the clunky machinations of the parliamentary ALP.

In the wake of polls presaging a disastrous result for the government on September 14, the return to cacophonous leadership speculation is to be expected. But is there a ring of truth to this speculation? For all the hubbub, Gillard insists she will lead Labor to the election.

And let’s not forget that great fizzle of a spill earlier this year, nor its subsequent fallout, during which Rudd pledged to never again challenge for the leadership unless an overwhelming majority of his colleagues implored him to do so. Yet when the incorrigible antagonist (or protagonist, depending on where you stand) last week started campaigning in Geelong—a current political hotspot—it made me wonder whether the Ruddbot’s capacity for sincerity had short-circuited on that fatefully anticlimactic March day.  

More on this story as it unfolds...


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